Gone are the days when parents chose for their children who to marry and do not care if they are comfortable with the marriage. These days, youths prefer to personally meet the person they intend to spend the rest of their lives with.
However, in today’s relationship men and women need to be very careful in choosing a life partner. The essence of courtship before marriage is to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other agreement. It is not a period to commit fornication and practice immorality.
Choosing a life partner is the most important decision to be made. It may make or mar life decisions, as it determines tomorrow. You must be careful and prayerful to plan and prepare for the right choice. Marriage has ups and downs and during those times, basic values are things that keep a couple grounded.
Here are 10 major qualities to look for in your spouse before marriage:
Open and effective communication is one of the most important foundations of any relationship or marriage. Communication is everything and the key to a successful relationship -without which you don’t have a relationship and you need to be honest in your communications. When there is no flow of communication through phone call, whatsapp or text messages, it shows there is no love.
A relationship without sacrifice is not healthy. Relationships are built on love but the strength of it depends on sacrifices. You will sometimes make some sacrifice to your partner happy. However, it is important for partners to make sacrifices in relationships and not one way sacrifice.
Respect in a relationship is replicated in how you treat each other. Even if you disagree or have an argument, you should be able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings. Respect is not controlling or making people do what you want. It is about demonstrating basic goodwill to one another and making you strong to respect one another.
- LOVE AND FORGIVENESS:
We all have our weakness and shortcomings in relationships, but we should not judge or condemned our partners with theirs. Partners have to understand that no one is perfect and there are no two perfect people in a relationship. Love is not all about romance –there will be moments of arguments and disagreements, but know how to make up, forgive and forget is the best.
Staying truthful in every relationship will also prevent unnecessary arguments. Faithfulness is far more than having an affair with others; it also means staying away from investigating or suspecting your partner. Partners should be concern about unconditional love to each other, plan for the future and flirt with each other. There should be no game-playing.
- BUILDING TRUST:
There is no how you would be happy in a relationship, If you don’t trust your partner because you would not believe whatever he or she does or say. If you truly trust someone, hold onto them. Relationship built on honesty will never lack trust. Life is hard without trust –a trustworthy and reliable partner will never leave you disappointed.
- PLANNING TOGETHER TO BRINGS OUT THE BEST:
Always go for someone who brings out the best in you. This will tell, if you and your partner should tie the knot before making decision, partners have to ask themselves, “Does this person make me better or has plan for me?” Genuine interest in one will help your relationship to be strong and you need to fix into each other’s life, including your future plans.
Never go into a relationship because your partner is beautiful, handsome or financially strong. Go into a relationship because your partner loves you unconditionally and cares about you. Make time for yourselves, seeing friends and family is good, but spending time together alone is vital. Occasional gift speaks volume and also makes the difference in a relationship.
- SHARING VALUES:
Someone who is materialistic and enjoys extravagances won’t fit into someone who is down-to-earth and likes moderation. Having important things in common help build solid ground for the future. The core beliefs of a couple needs to be similar -a partner who frequently enjoys going out with friends cannot be the best for a partner who values quiet and privacy at home. Social attraction is one of the crucial things that drive most partners close, keep the spark of your social life alive and make time for responsible outdoors.
- GOD FARING:
In every relationship, learn to put God first and commit everything into His hands before taking any decision. You must teach yourselves to have the fear of God and develop the habits of cordial relationship and constant fellowship with God through the Word.