OSINACHI: Is Every Marriage Joined By God? By David K. Aboderin
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:5-6
Take note of this term by Jesus: “What God has joined together…”
The question now is, “Is every marriage joined together by God?”
Let’s look at some marriages:
- A woman gets married to a man with undisclosed ailment such as leprosy or HIV or vice versa.
- Another discovers, after marriage, that her husband has undisclosed impotence.
- What about the one who got married to a person who pretended to be born again, who later reveals himself or herself as someone practising occultism? Such a person starts showing his or her true colour as a devil reincarnate.
Are these marriages ordained by God?
Some Christian marriages fall into the categories above, and yet, the spouses still feel compelled to stay in the marriage, based on the phrase, “till death do us part”, and indeed, death will surely do them apart.
The devil is always ready to fulfill his assignment of, “come to steal, kill and destroy.” When Jesus Christ made that statement in John 10:10, He was actually referring to religious people of His time. Religion steals, kills and destroys. This is part of the religious doctrines that many in the church are holding on to.
Many lives and great destinies have been maimed and destroyed through this religious doctrine, “till death do us part”.
Some separated themselves from the ‘devil’ they married and can’t go into another marriage because of the doctrine that you must stay single (does this doctrine apply to every Christian?). What happens is that some begin to commit adultery and eventually die in sin. Others have fallen into depression and find themselves living in guilt for the rest of their lives.
The rate of domestic violence and couples who are living in toxic relationships calls for a rethink on the marriages that ‘the Lord has joined together.’ While the word of God remains true, many of these marriages are not ordained by God. We have couples joined together by emotions, beauty, wealth, and other transient factors, which may wane over time. Whatever the basis of the relationship, if God has not joined them together, it will be full of crises and may be doomed.
To build viable Christan homes, Pastors have a huge responsibility in giving direction, especially before a relationship is formed. Counseling should include the need for individuals to speak out when relationships become toxic. Violence or brutalization in any marital relationship is unacceptable, especially in a Christian home. The abused person in a relationship should not be intimidated by the threat of reprisal when he or she decides to report (especially to the pastor). Today, many are living under such bondage in their marriages and dying a slow death. Some may just need to get out to get a safe haven.
Every genuine Christian marriage is joined together by God and must uphold the integrity of God’s word. That means, both of them decide to work it out together to reflect the glory of God in peace, love and happiness. Here then is where we can use the term “till death do them part.” Times of difficulties and hardships are fought together until victory is attained. ICor. 13:4-8 should be their meditation and confession. God will stand by them and ensure a very successful marriage.
I like to recommend that you read and recommend my book titled: “HOW TO OBTAIN and SUSTAIN A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE”. It’s a must read for every married and intending couple. God bless you.
Dr. David K. Aboderin is the Senior Pastor, Faith Family Bible Church, President, Joint Christian Ministers Crusade (JCMC) and President, David Aboderin Ministries International (DAMI)