15 Good Reasons Many Marriage Do Not Last By Gracious Akintayo
It is sad and disappointing that today many marriages that seemingly started well and looked happy are irretrievably off heading to break apart, packed up or came to an end. The traditional engagements, legal oaths and church vows are no longer relevant and meaningful to marriage these days.
The Divine instruction, “Forsake to Cleave”, is fast becoming human injunction, “Turn to Leave”.
Marriage that was supposed to be a journey of adventure and institution of godliness, growth and fulfillment is now made to be an exploit of societal fun packages, short trip vice, part time refreshment, and trials and error games. This has adversely affected our ways of life, sense of belonging, societal development, family and character values with many families in disarray and homes broken; destinies are destroyed and retrogressed due to not too good reasons by which many marriage are consummated, homes established and futures are laid.
Some reasons for this erratiuc course are critically identified here to enable us to walk on a better path instead of a bitter path, live purposefully and not pretentiously, and enjoy life instead of enduring supposed blissful marriage.
- Many marry based on likeness, attraction and lust without adequate knowledge of true love and marriage.
- Some marry to cover the shame of getting old. Especially ladies who feel age is telling on them and want to settle with any choice instead of seeking for the right partner.
- Some marry out of pity. This is when partners who think they have dated for long years and will not want to break up, trying to avoid hurting one another, if eventually they decide to marry out of pity, it won’t last.
- Some marry because of financial support and help. Good as it may sound from the start, without key structures, it will eventually crash.
- Some marry due to peer and family pressure. Their family members and friends pressured or harassed them to either marry or leave their company and for that, they decided to settle down with anyone.
- Many marry because they have a child or children outside wedlock and without prioritizing their relationship marry their partner. Most spouses, especially women, are in abusive and toxic relationships and are suffering in silence, but decided to ignore the sufferings to remain with their abusive partners. Because they have children between them and are not ready to part ways with the children.
- Many marry on tribal ground. Their soulmates may be from different tribes but since their family or culture forbid marrying outside their tribes, they ignore the real ones and go for an alternative.
- Some marry based on parental suggestions for partners as a result of business partnership or family ties. This is called “arranged marriage”. Sometimes, partners are indirectly or directly forced to marry each other without recourse to their personal connection. Such marriages never last.
- Many marry because of loneliness. They usually feel all their friends and younger ones are married and they are left out, so in trying to impress their loved ones, they rush into marriage.
- Some marry because they love the idea of having or being with children. This is a bad motive that will later raise its ugly head with effects.
- Some marry because of bedroom pleasures. At a time in marriage, performance in the bedroom would not matter and what matters most will not be there. This is when most couples realize they’ve made a mistake in marriage.
- Many marry because they are not well informed, enlightened and prepared. They have no guidance, direction and motivation for marriage, all they want is a partner to keep their company and always there for their needs.
- Many marry because they are in the same business or profession. Their purpose is to build a formidable business partnership, empire and growth without focusing on establishing marriage relationships, building a home and raising a family. This is a commercial marriage built on industrial ethics that will later fizzle out.
- Many marry because they want to be tolerated with their baggage. They have excess of demented character and doesn’t want any eyebrows or opposition to their excesses.
- Most people marry for their convenience. This when a partner decides to live together for obvious reasons -closeness to working place. unemployment, homeless and depends on outcome behavioral tendencies without freedom of expression.