There is Beauty in Marriage – Bishop Chinwe Wonders

Bishop (Dr.) Chinwe Wonders is an associate bishop of Glory of God Pentecostal Mission in Ojo area of Satellite Town, Lagos. She is the president, Never Alone Outreach and the Int’l Coordinator, One Accord Fellowship. In a brief chat with Gracious Akintayo at the She Pleaseth Me Well programme for singles and the married themed, “Understanding the Beauty in Marriage” organized by Never Alone Outreach, she highlighted the goals of the programme and what marriage should be. Read on;

What inspired the vision and what do you intend to achieve? 

The vision came up as I found that a lot of young ones, especially the male, are scared of getting married. They are scared due to downward of the economy, rising inflation and the way things are going in the country. Most of them will tell you, I have not taken care of myself and immediate needs, how much more, adding the burden of taking care of a wife and later, children will come in. Another area of concern is married people, many homes are broken and in disarray, even christian homes and gospel ministers. Don’t be surprised when you realized that those smiling and aso ebi couples you are envying are not true picture of their home, there are many things hiding and going on underneath. A lot of people are not open to see what is happening in their home, just like the late gospel singer, Osinachi who died of domestic violence and marital abuse, that is just one of them. There are many, crying and dying in silence and these are things that bothered me, then I started praying and wondering on how we can have a family unit that is not breaking or cannot be broken? Because, if a family unit break, the society is broken. And if the society is not okay, it means the entire community is in trouble and there will be no peace in the  country. If we need greater tomorrow, want a generation that will take over from us and preserve our family values, we need to start teaching and educating them now.

We need to start inculcating values, beliefs and culture that used to exist in marriage but were eroded due to civilisation. So they can know and understand that, despite circumstances, you can build a happy home with a woman or man you are compatible with and be successful in life. This is why we invite seasoned speakers with strong background to come and inspire participants not to be scared of getting married and starting a home once God is in it with good plans and vision for themselves, grace will follow them to succeed. 

Also, there is a global trend of never being alone among widows and their children which are part of the area we want to encourage, support and empower widows who have one way or the other lost their breadwinner to death. Many widows are going about in trouble, confusion and pains as a result of taking care of their children and other responsibilities supposed to be meant for two people and no one cares for them including the extended family who have left them to their fate.

And the widow who is a woman that was okay, has now turned to a shadow of herself. If we can give them some form of support and assistance to improve their living condition and taking care of their children who are between 0 to 12 years basic education and when they are through, we can start looking at establishing them with one skill or the other. This will go a long way and the society will be better off and when the society is better off, we will all be happy and feel secure. These are what inspired the vision and we want them to know that no matter any situation they found themselves, they are not alone, someone care for them and He is God, their maker who will use somebody for them to know that they are precious to Him and the society. They don’t need to feel forsaken or neglected. 

There are people who have gone through similar situation and today, they are able to overcome and are better off in life with happiness of telling their stories. Being single doesn’t mean you are alone, someone is with you. Same to widows, they are not alone. There are widows and widowers with little children, who succeeded and happy today.

Further give insight on understanding the beauty in marriage.

We want people to practically have the understanding that there is beauty in marriage. Many think marriage is just there to be endured, but we want people to know, there is beauty in marriage that you can enjoy. Notwithstanding, the happenings around you, marriage can be enjoyed better than even the olden days, because we now know better and well informed.

We want to make people see the beauty in having a partner and God does not make mistake in the book of Genesis, when He said, I am making a helpmate for you. He knows that one person alone cannot meet up the challenges of life, He has to make the second person to help him meet up the challenges and that’s the beauty in marriage. Two good heads are better than one and whatever they are bound shall be bound. When you are two working, it’s always good, it gives you better synergy and results. Sometimes, when you think alone, you may not get the answer.

God knows why He said, the bed should be warmed and not only that, when he looked at the man He created, after everything, He said, the man is alone and lonely. So let me make something that resembles him that he will communicate, chat, talk, work and walk with to make things better. When you have a good wife, put your head together and things will work out better and favourably. When we make the younger ones know, there is beauty in marriage, it will encourage them to marry, build a happy home and have a beautiful family.

What’s your advice to single mothers, especially those already lost the hope of getting married again and those from parts of the country where, once a lady get a child out of wedlock, she becomes a reproach and rejection for marriage?

That’s one of the key reasons to make people understand that you are not alone. No matter the situation, you are precious to God and there are people that still know you are precious. We are human and having children out of wedlock is a mistake that can be corrected. It can happen to anyone and it doesn’t mean one should remain in her past. But jump and come out of that past strong, if you remain there, you will continue languishing and die regretting, It is not a life sentence to kill you, but a life lesson you have learned and that lesson should help you be a better person to know there is a better future for you.

Unfortunately, some people choose to be a single mother, but, there is nothing like that and it wasn’t so. If God had wanted single parenting, He wouldn’t have created Adam and Eve, He would have made only one of them as example and model. Because there is a unique role the father plays in a family, and a valuable role a mother plays, when children miss the two, it reflects in their lives and you will see it lacking in them.

When he’s a single parent, that child will be treated towards men, if brought up by the man alone and if he’s grown alone by the woman, that child will be treated towards women and grown to see the other side as evil. God balanced and perfected His work, that’s why He gave fatherhood and motherhood ability. It’s two parts and that part should be wholesomely maintained and developed without division, separation or divorce.